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The art of conversation takes practice, and is not as hard as you might think. It will take some knowledge, practice, and patience, and you can learn to relax and enjoy a great conversation.
Listen. This is the most important part of any conversation. You might think a conversation is all about talking, but it will not go anywhere if the listener is too busy thinking of something to say next. Pay attention to what is being said. When you talk to the other person, injecting a thought or two, they will often not realize that it was they who did most of the talking, and you get the credit for being a good conversationalist - which of course, you are!
Find out what the other person is interested in. You can even do some research in advance when you know you will have an opportunity to talk with a specific person. Complimenting them is a great place to start. Everyone likes sincere compliments, and that can be a great ice-breaker.
Ask questions. What do they like to do? What sort of things have they done in their life? What is happening to them now? What did they do today or last weekend? Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. Remember, there was a reason that you wanted to talk to them, so obviously there was something about them that you found interesting.
Forget yourself. Dale Carnegie once said, "It's much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you." If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like, or what the other person might be thinking, you will never be able to relax. Introduce yourself, shake hands, then forget yourself and focus on them instead.
Practice active listening skills. Part of listening is letting the other person know that you are listening. Make eye contact.
Nod. Say "Yes," "I see," "That's interesting," or something similar to give them clues that you are paying attention and not thinking about something else - such as what you are going to say next.
Ask clarifying questions. If the topic seems to be one they are interested in, ask them to clarify what they think or feel about it. If they are talking about an occupation or activity you do not understand, take the opportunity to learn from them. Everyone loves having a chance to teach another willing and interested person about their hobby or subject of expertise.
Paraphrase back what you have heard, using your own words. This seems like an easy skill to learn, but takes some practice to master. Conversation happens in turns, each person taking a turn to listen and a turn to speak or to respond. It shows respect for the other person when you use your "speaking turn" to show you have been listening and not just to say something new. They then have a chance to correct your understanding, affirm it, or embellish on it.
Consider your response before disagreeing. If the point was not important, ignore it rather than risk appearing argumentative. If you consider it important then politely point out your difference of opinion. Do not disagree merely to set yourself apart, but remember these points:
It is the differences in people--and their conversation--that make them interesting.
Agreeing with everything can kill a conversation just as easily as disagreeing with everything.
A person is interesting when they are different from you; a person is obnoxious when they can not agree with anything you say, or if they use the point to make themselves appear superior.
Try to omit the word "but" from your conversation when disagreeing as this word often puts people on the defensive.
Instead, try substituting the word "and", it has less of an antagonistic effect.
Consider playing devil's advocate - which requires care. If your conversation partner makes a point, you can keep the conversation going by bringing up the opposite point of view (introduce it with something like "I agree, and..."). If you overuse this technique, however, you could end up appearing disagreeable or even hostile.
Do not panic over lulls. This is a point where you could easily inject your thoughts into the discussion. If the topic seems to have run out, use the pause to think for a moment and identify another conversation topic or question to ask them. Did something they said remind you of something else you have heard, something that happened to you, or bring up a question or topic in your mind? Mention it and you'll transition smoothly into further conversation!
Know when the conversation is over. Even the best conversations will eventually run out of steam or be ended by an interruption. Shake hands with the other person and be sure to tell them you enjoyed talking with them. Ending on a positive note will leave a good impression and likely bring them back later for more!
Make a good first impression. Smile, ask questions that require more than a yes/no answer, and really listen. Maintain eye contact and keep as friendly and polite as possible. |
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<<<<<< you love reading, and you're dying to get your hands on a book. But you've read all your books four times, and are tired of the same ones. You're planning to go to the library, but don't know what kind of book to get. Here's how to choose:
What kind of books do you like? 
- What authors do you like? Research books by authors you've enjoyed in the past. Chances are they have another publication that you'll also enjoy.
- Is there a type of book, or a specific book you would like to try?
- Are there any books in a certain series you would like?
- What are your interests? Insert your hobbies into your library catalog search and set it to, "Keyword."
- Search your house. Often times good books will be quietly collecting dust in your own house. Maybe you forgot about one or someone who is living with you has a couple good books.
- Ask someone to recommend a good book. You can ask your older sibling, your mom, your dad, your best friend, or even your English teacher. Friends or family with whom you have things in common can often make excellent book recommendations. Local, small bookstores often have wonderful recommendations, and when they get to know you, it's even better!
- Read book reviews in newspapers and magazines. Read the bestseller lists published in most newspapers or weekly magazines. Find out which new books are making headlines, and why.
Join a book club. Being a book club member is often a way to experience new books you might never have had the motivation to read otherwise.
- See if the library or bookstore has computers. If it does, then look on the library's search engine. You can use the search engine to find a certain book, books by a certain author, or anything as broad as just a certain genre.
- Ask the librarian or book seller about the location of the books you're looking for. He/she will be happy to help you.
- Skim through the shelves in the section you're interested in. If you see anything that looks appealing, pick it up and read the back of the book. Skim over the back of the book or the inside flap, wherever the summary is. If that holds your attention, read the first page or so. If it still holds your attention, then it's probably a good book for you. The subject might be interesting to you, but the writing style can be key to enjoying it. If it looks interesting, put it in your pile. Keep doing this until you have a few books.
- Find a place to sit, or stand if you must, and read the first chapter of each book. Of course, if you have so many books, this can be time consuming.
- Narrow down your stack. So consider your selections. If you would rather have book 1 over book 2, put book 2 back. Keep doing this. If you would rather have book 3 then book 1, put book 1 back, etc.
- Once you have found your book, try reading a few chapters just to make sure you don't get bored right away. You can also just flip to random pages and read them.
If you liked the book you chose, it can be a good guide when getting other books. Often, if you look up the book on a website, it will give you a list of books that are similar. For instance, go to the Amazon listing for one of your favorite books, and scroll down to the section titled "Customers who bought this item also bought". Don't stick to just this one category though. Try different books, because you never know what you will find!
Keep your own reading list. When a book has been recommended to you, write it down immediately and use it as a reference once you're in the library or bookstore.
Make sure the book is age appropriate. Of course it's always okay to check out a little kids book every once in a while, just for the fun of it.
Don't damage the library's books. You don't want to have to pay!
Turn in the book on time, or you'll have to pay late fees.
You won't do yourself any harm if you check out too many books, or don't read books you check out of the library. Just make sure to turn them in on time. Consider bringing a book bag or tote.
Be Carefull  :
Don't think you have to read or like a book just because everyone else does. If you are reading a book for fun that you don't like or can't get through, it's ok to abandon it for something else. Reading can be addictive, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. |
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Let's face it,we all love money and love to spend that money. But, think for a second. Would you rather have a little money now, or more money later?
 HOW !?
Get some money.
Save as much of the money you make as you can.
Once you have enough, ask your parents to open up a savings account for you. This will eliminate the temptation of wanting to spend that money.
If you're making minimum wage (about £6.50 an hour), that is about £200 a month. Think how much you'll have after just one year of saving (£2,400).
If you are not old enough to get a job, work various jobs around the house, picking things up when you are not asked, or working extra hard on something that could earn some money. Also, work out a deal with your parents involving your grades--for example, for every 'A' grade, you get £5.
Start saving young. Let's say you get £10, save £5, and have the other £5 for yourself. After a while, this can really add up. If you save £5 a week, that is £240 a year. If you keep that up until you get a job you can have quite a bit of money saved. (i.e. lets say you start when you are 12 years old. £240 per year * 5 = £1,200. You could have £1,200 saved up for when you reach 17 and are in need of a car, and have the freedom and pride of driving yourself around.
 TIPS :
Try to save half of what you receive. Or, if possible, ALL of what you receive.
Try to start saving young.
Don't touch it til you are old enough to drive. This can really aid in getting a decent car instead of a jalopy that you'll end up junking within a few months.
Or, if your parents buy your car, you can have that money saved up for possible shop work on that car.
WARNINGS: 
Try to avoid spending money on that junk food. It can really help in the long run.
If you need to ask your parents to hold on to your saved money, do so. Eliminate that burning desire to spend it in any way possible.
Avoid having money in your wallet when you are downtown or at the mall. It'll only make you want to spend it.
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